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voicemail]
Sep. 14th, 2037 12:03 pm
"I can't talk to you. Leave me a message."
text . voicemail . picture message . videochat
"I can't talk to you. Leave me a message."
text . voicemail . picture message . videochat
ooc] writing table
Sep. 12th, 2037 12:23 pmI have decided to try and do some writing for Britt and make canon better. I'm going to try to do all 50, in order, but we'll see. I will be linking each piece to this post if you would like to track it and see when I've updated.
( table )
( table )
Brittany doesn't tell anyone how her end of the day Skype calls with Santana are still the best part of her day. She doesn't tell anyone how much she looks forward to them. She's still sad. She's really sad. She misses Santana more than ever now, because she can't even call her her girlfriend anymore. That makes the missing worse. But at the same time she's happy because they're talking again. They're smiling and laughing together, and she still has her best friend at the end of the day. At the end of every day.
It almost feels like they're better at talking now that they're just friends again.
She sits down on her bed, comfy sweat pants and t-shirt on, and signs on to her computer. She waits patiently for Santana to sign on, and the grin cannot be wiped from her lips. It doesn't matter what they are, or what happened, she still loves her best friend with all of her heart. She knows she always will. She just has to wait until she's allowed to love her the way she wants to.
Sometimes it does still hurt. Well, it still hurts most of the time, but she tries to not be mad. She tries to look beyond the fact that they keep doing the same dance over and over, of her waiting for Santana. She has to look beyond that, because if she harps on it, if she lets that rule her life, then she'll never really be happy. She'll get resentful of Santana, and that's the last thing she ever wants. At this point, she'll take what she can get. Even if it's not as much as she wants.
It almost feels like they're better at talking now that they're just friends again.
She sits down on her bed, comfy sweat pants and t-shirt on, and signs on to her computer. She waits patiently for Santana to sign on, and the grin cannot be wiped from her lips. It doesn't matter what they are, or what happened, she still loves her best friend with all of her heart. She knows she always will. She just has to wait until she's allowed to love her the way she wants to.
Sometimes it does still hurt. Well, it still hurts most of the time, but she tries to not be mad. She tries to look beyond the fact that they keep doing the same dance over and over, of her waiting for Santana. She has to look beyond that, because if she harps on it, if she lets that rule her life, then she'll never really be happy. She'll get resentful of Santana, and that's the last thing she ever wants. At this point, she'll take what she can get. Even if it's not as much as she wants.
[ooc: anyone is welcome. open to any time in or after canon]
Brittany is drunk.
She doesn't party this hard often, not since that terrible time the entire club got drunk and she puked on stage, but tonight she started drinking and hasn't yet stopped. She was at Sugar's house, but eventually got too bored and wandered away. She's now sitting in the darkened park, sitting on a swing that isn't swinging, and staring up at the stars. There's a bottle of alcohol by her feet that she stole from the party.
She's had too much to drink, and the world is fuzzy. At least she's completely dressed this time. That's progress.
Brittany is drunk.
She doesn't party this hard often, not since that terrible time the entire club got drunk and she puked on stage, but tonight she started drinking and hasn't yet stopped. She was at Sugar's house, but eventually got too bored and wandered away. She's now sitting in the darkened park, sitting on a swing that isn't swinging, and staring up at the stars. There's a bottle of alcohol by her feet that she stole from the party.
She's had too much to drink, and the world is fuzzy. At least she's completely dressed this time. That's progress.
05/50] destiny
Oct. 28th, 2012 11:47 pmdes·ti·ny
1.
something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lot or fortune.
2.
the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
3.
the power or agency that determines the course of events.
( Read more... )
1.
something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lot or fortune.
2.
the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
3.
the power or agency that determines the course of events.
( Read more... )
42/50] hero
Oct. 24th, 2012 11:05 pmBrittany wasn't too sure what she wanted to do after high school, but she knew she didn't want to go to college. It wasn't because she didn't think she was good enough for it, or because she thought it would be too hard, she just didn't feel like it was right for her. She loved dancing, but she wasn't sure she wanted to make it her life.
The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted to get out of Lima. There were far too many memories there, and it felt like they defined her. She was tired of being Brittany S. Pierce, second time senior, once best friend and girlfriend of Santana Lopez. She had done her best to use her second senior year to figure out who she was without Santana, and it had been hard. Harder than she would admit to anyone. She had to learn how to operate as one person instead of as Brittany-and-Santana. She had to learn how to take care of herself instead of taking care of Santana while Santana took care of her.
She graduated just under the middle of her class, and for her that was a huge accomplishment. She knew she had worked as hard as she could. She had done it for herself and not anyone else.
( Read more... )
The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted to get out of Lima. There were far too many memories there, and it felt like they defined her. She was tired of being Brittany S. Pierce, second time senior, once best friend and girlfriend of Santana Lopez. She had done her best to use her second senior year to figure out who she was without Santana, and it had been hard. Harder than she would admit to anyone. She had to learn how to operate as one person instead of as Brittany-and-Santana. She had to learn how to take care of herself instead of taking care of Santana while Santana took care of her.
She graduated just under the middle of her class, and for her that was a huge accomplishment. She knew she had worked as hard as she could. She had done it for herself and not anyone else.
( Read more... )
22/50] purple
Oct. 20th, 2012 11:29 pmShe's stretched out on her bed with a notebook and her crayons. She's supposed to be doing homework, but she's drawing instead. Her thoughts have been all over the place and she can't figure out what to do with them.
Santana is her best friend, and she doesn't ever want to upset her. Ever. She knows Santana doesn't want anyone to know what they do during their sleepovers, and usually she doesn't mind being quiet about it, but sometimes she feels sad about it. She doesn't understand why it has to be hidden when it's something that they both like; something that makes them happy when they're together.
She doesn't say anything to Santana though. She never knows what she can say.
With a sigh, Brittany pulls out a crayon and turns to a fresh page of paper.
Dear Santana,
Your my best friend and I love you, but somtimes you make me really really sad. I liek kissing you, and when we have spesial lady sex, but I think you don't like that its me. I'm sorry I'm a girl. I'm sorry you don't feel the way I do. Mostly I'm just sad becuase I want you to be happy. We never have to kiss agian if that will make you happyer.
Love always,
Brittany
She carefully pulls the paper from her notebook and smooths it out. She bites her tongue as she folds it into three, and she kisses it before leaning over her bed and picking up a shoe box. She opens the box and drops the letter in on top of a pile of other letters. She likes to write to Santana, but she can't give her the letters. These are things they're not supposed to talk about, not even to each other, and she doesn't want to lose her best friend over her stupid feelings.
Brittany sees more in Santana than anyone else does, more than anyone else is allowed to see. She knows that a lot of it are things Santana doesn't want her to see either, so she pretends. It's how she protects Santana. It's how she takes care of her. If there are things Santana wants to keep her wall up to then Brittany will stay quiet. She'll stay quiet, and she'll stay by Santana's side, because she loves her.
She drops the lid down on the box with a frown on her lips. Protecting Santana makes her a sad panda sometimes.
Santana is her best friend, and she doesn't ever want to upset her. Ever. She knows Santana doesn't want anyone to know what they do during their sleepovers, and usually she doesn't mind being quiet about it, but sometimes she feels sad about it. She doesn't understand why it has to be hidden when it's something that they both like; something that makes them happy when they're together.
She doesn't say anything to Santana though. She never knows what she can say.
With a sigh, Brittany pulls out a crayon and turns to a fresh page of paper.
Dear Santana,
Your my best friend and I love you, but somtimes you make me really really sad. I liek kissing you, and when we have spesial lady sex, but I think you don't like that its me. I'm sorry I'm a girl. I'm sorry you don't feel the way I do. Mostly I'm just sad becuase I want you to be happy. We never have to kiss agian if that will make you happyer.
Love always,
Brittany
She carefully pulls the paper from her notebook and smooths it out. She bites her tongue as she folds it into three, and she kisses it before leaning over her bed and picking up a shoe box. She opens the box and drops the letter in on top of a pile of other letters. She likes to write to Santana, but she can't give her the letters. These are things they're not supposed to talk about, not even to each other, and she doesn't want to lose her best friend over her stupid feelings.
Brittany sees more in Santana than anyone else does, more than anyone else is allowed to see. She knows that a lot of it are things Santana doesn't want her to see either, so she pretends. It's how she protects Santana. It's how she takes care of her. If there are things Santana wants to keep her wall up to then Brittany will stay quiet. She'll stay quiet, and she'll stay by Santana's side, because she loves her.
She drops the lid down on the box with a frown on her lips. Protecting Santana makes her a sad panda sometimes.
01/50 doubt]
Oct. 19th, 2012 01:44 pm[table here]
Brittany was stretched on her bed as she watched Santana land beside her with a big smile on her face. Brittany couldn't help but grin back. Santana leaned in close and Brittany sat up to meet her halfway for a kiss.
"I like when you're happy like this," Brittany said, an inch from Santana's lips.
Santana's smile softened and she leaned against Brittany, who put her arm around Santana. "Do you think it's possible to be the happiest you've ever been and the saddest you've ever been all at once?"
"Is that how you feel?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah...it is." Santana tipped her face up to look at Brittany as her features sobered.
"Then it's possible," Brittany said simply. "But I'm sorry you're sad, too."
"How can I not be? Everything could change in a couple of months. I feel the best I've ever felt with winning Nationals and graduation, but then I remember that you're still going to be here, and I haven't decided what I want to do, and...it hurts."
Brittany's eyes dropped for a moment. It hurt her, too. She had realized sooner than Santana that they'd be saying goodbye at the end of the summer, and she had been trying to not think about it. It was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to change it. It did hurt. It hurt more than she knew what to do with. Her eyes moved to Santana's. "It'll be okay."
"What if I stay in Lima for a year? Then next year we'll go to New York with the money my parents gave me. Or...anywhere. We'll go anywhere. Together."
"But you got into college," Brittany said slowly. "That's really awesome, Santana. You can like...do anything now. It's your turn to shine and you can't do that in Lima." It broke her heart to encourage Santana to do anything but stay with her, but Brittany couldn't hold her back. She wouldn't. "I'll totally make my next senior year my bitch and graduate, and then...I don't know. I'll come find you or something."
Santana pulled away from Brittany, her hands resting on the mattress so she could really look at her girlfriend. She had an amazed look in her eyes. "How is it you've always been so sure of...everything? Us and...our feelings for each other."
"Because I feel what I feel, so I know it's real." She reached out and brushed Santana's hair back over her shoulder. "I know I love you, and I know we can make it through anything."
"I love you too, Britt." Santana leaned her forehead to Brittany's and closed her eyes. "Thank you for never having any doubt about us." Britt smiled and wrapped her arms around Santana, then leaned back on the bed with her so they could lay down. Santana curled up against her.
"It's what I'm most sure of in the whole entire world," Brittany said softly.
Brittany was stretched on her bed as she watched Santana land beside her with a big smile on her face. Brittany couldn't help but grin back. Santana leaned in close and Brittany sat up to meet her halfway for a kiss.
"I like when you're happy like this," Brittany said, an inch from Santana's lips.
Santana's smile softened and she leaned against Brittany, who put her arm around Santana. "Do you think it's possible to be the happiest you've ever been and the saddest you've ever been all at once?"
"Is that how you feel?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah...it is." Santana tipped her face up to look at Brittany as her features sobered.
"Then it's possible," Brittany said simply. "But I'm sorry you're sad, too."
"How can I not be? Everything could change in a couple of months. I feel the best I've ever felt with winning Nationals and graduation, but then I remember that you're still going to be here, and I haven't decided what I want to do, and...it hurts."
Brittany's eyes dropped for a moment. It hurt her, too. She had realized sooner than Santana that they'd be saying goodbye at the end of the summer, and she had been trying to not think about it. It was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to change it. It did hurt. It hurt more than she knew what to do with. Her eyes moved to Santana's. "It'll be okay."
"What if I stay in Lima for a year? Then next year we'll go to New York with the money my parents gave me. Or...anywhere. We'll go anywhere. Together."
"But you got into college," Brittany said slowly. "That's really awesome, Santana. You can like...do anything now. It's your turn to shine and you can't do that in Lima." It broke her heart to encourage Santana to do anything but stay with her, but Brittany couldn't hold her back. She wouldn't. "I'll totally make my next senior year my bitch and graduate, and then...I don't know. I'll come find you or something."
Santana pulled away from Brittany, her hands resting on the mattress so she could really look at her girlfriend. She had an amazed look in her eyes. "How is it you've always been so sure of...everything? Us and...our feelings for each other."
"Because I feel what I feel, so I know it's real." She reached out and brushed Santana's hair back over her shoulder. "I know I love you, and I know we can make it through anything."
"I love you too, Britt." Santana leaned her forehead to Brittany's and closed her eyes. "Thank you for never having any doubt about us." Britt smiled and wrapped her arms around Santana, then leaned back on the bed with her so they could lay down. Santana curled up against her.
"It's what I'm most sure of in the whole entire world," Brittany said softly.
fic] with your words on my skin
Oct. 18th, 2012 12:38 am"Rubber ducky, you're the one. You make my showers lots of fun. Rubber ducky, please stop staring at my boobs."
Brittany could be heard singing all through the locker room, but she thought she was the only one in there. Coach had kept her late after practice because she kept spelling all the cheers wrong, and she had to stay until she got them right. It was a lot of hard work. She was glad when she got to go shower.
She had her hair up on top of her head and she was scrubbing her back with a loofah when she heard a voice behind her.
"Brittany...why do you look like a wall that's been vandalized?"
( .... )
Brittany could be heard singing all through the locker room, but she thought she was the only one in there. Coach had kept her late after practice because she kept spelling all the cheers wrong, and she had to stay until she got them right. It was a lot of hard work. She was glad when she got to go shower.
She had her hair up on top of her head and she was scrubbing her back with a loofah when she heard a voice behind her.
"Brittany...why do you look like a wall that's been vandalized?"
( .... )
It had been a horrible day at school, and Brittany can't stop worrying about Santana. Everything that had been going on in recent days, with Finn opening his big mouth and the aftermath of it, has left Brittany unsure of a lot of things. It had been easy for her before. She loved Santana and she wanted to be with Santana. She didn't over think it. She didn't ask what it meant, or who she was because of it. She just wanted to be with the person she loved.
When she heard Santana singing during their mash-up and saw the pain in her eyes, her heart broke. A part of her felt responsible, because she was a big part of the equation. She didn't want people picking on Santana, or hating Santana, or anything. Mostly though she didn't want Santana hating herself. She sees things in the other girl that so many people don't, or can't. Things that Santana doesn't let them see. She knows how incredible her best friend is, and she wishes everyone else saw it.
She's now curled up on her bed, thinking. She has been here since she got home from school. Her cell phone is laying beside her head on the pillow and she keeps checking it, waiting for a text or call from Santana. She knows Santana went to talk to her grandmother, and she's impatient to hear how it goes. She wants it to be okay. She wants everything to be okay.
Mostly though she just wants Santana. She wants to hide in the space between them that is theirs; where no one can judge them. That space where everything is good and right.
She checks her phone again and rolls onto her back. The house is quiet with her parents gone, but she doesn't want to turn on music. She doesn't want to do anything but lay there and wait.
When she heard Santana singing during their mash-up and saw the pain in her eyes, her heart broke. A part of her felt responsible, because she was a big part of the equation. She didn't want people picking on Santana, or hating Santana, or anything. Mostly though she didn't want Santana hating herself. She sees things in the other girl that so many people don't, or can't. Things that Santana doesn't let them see. She knows how incredible her best friend is, and she wishes everyone else saw it.
She's now curled up on her bed, thinking. She has been here since she got home from school. Her cell phone is laying beside her head on the pillow and she keeps checking it, waiting for a text or call from Santana. She knows Santana went to talk to her grandmother, and she's impatient to hear how it goes. She wants it to be okay. She wants everything to be okay.
Mostly though she just wants Santana. She wants to hide in the space between them that is theirs; where no one can judge them. That space where everything is good and right.
She checks her phone again and rolls onto her back. The house is quiet with her parents gone, but she doesn't want to turn on music. She doesn't want to do anything but lay there and wait.
