Brittany S. Pierce

Brittany doesn't tell anyone how her end of the day Skype calls with Santana are still the best part of her day. She doesn't tell anyone how much she looks forward to them. She's still sad. She's really sad. She misses Santana more than ever now, because she can't even call her her girlfriend anymore. That makes the missing worse. But at the same time she's happy because they're talking again. They're smiling and laughing together, and she still has her best friend at the end of the day. At the end of every day.

It almost feels like they're better at talking now that they're just friends again.

She sits down on her bed, comfy sweat pants and t-shirt on, and signs on to her computer. She waits patiently for Santana to sign on, and the grin cannot be wiped from her lips. It doesn't matter what they are, or what happened, she still loves her best friend with all of her heart. She knows she always will. She just has to wait until she's allowed to love her the way she wants to.

Sometimes it does still hurt. Well, it still hurts most of the time, but she tries to not be mad. She tries to look beyond the fact that they keep doing the same dance over and over, of her waiting for Santana. She has to look beyond that, because if she harps on it, if she lets that rule her life, then she'll never really be happy. She'll get resentful of Santana, and that's the last thing she ever wants. At this point, she'll take what she can get. Even if it's not as much as she wants.

It had been a horrible day at school, and Brittany can't stop worrying about Santana. Everything that had been going on in recent days, with Finn opening his big mouth and the aftermath of it, has left Brittany unsure of a lot of things. It had been easy for her before. She loved Santana and she wanted to be with Santana. She didn't over think it. She didn't ask what it meant, or who she was because of it. She just wanted to be with the person she loved.

When she heard Santana singing during their mash-up and saw the pain in her eyes, her heart broke. A part of her felt responsible, because she was a big part of the equation. She didn't want people picking on Santana, or hating Santana, or anything. Mostly though she didn't want Santana hating herself. She sees things in the other girl that so many people don't, or can't. Things that Santana doesn't let them see. She knows how incredible her best friend is, and she wishes everyone else saw it.

She's now curled up on her bed, thinking. She has been here since she got home from school. Her cell phone is laying beside her head on the pillow and she keeps checking it, waiting for a text or call from Santana. She knows Santana went to talk to her grandmother, and she's impatient to hear how it goes. She wants it to be okay. She wants everything to be okay.

Mostly though she just wants Santana. She wants to hide in the space between them that is theirs; where no one can judge them. That space where everything is good and right.

She checks her phone again and rolls onto her back. The house is quiet with her parents gone, but she doesn't want to turn on music. She doesn't want to do anything but lay there and wait.